How to not look like you’ve stayed up for 3 days without a bath, been puked/pooped/peed on and overall just look like crap.

I thought about calling this post “new mom’s guide to not looking like crap”, but the more I thought about it, I think most women, (and let’s be real, pretty much all men) mothers or not, need help not looking like crap. Stress/sleep deprivation will do a number on you, but the rest of the world doesn’t have to know that. Having my kids 13 months apart, I think I am an expert on sleep deprivation and looking like I fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. I had to find quick fixes to make myself presentable for things like unexpected company, trips to the market, blah blah blah….Now I’m not sayin go dolly up and throw on your heels, I’m just sayin…look alive, ladies. Literally. Because you haven’t slept in days and you look like death. With all of that said, here is my top 5 list for all you new mommas/really tired chics.

1. Damn, I hate how new I am at this blogging program because I want to highlight, bold face and just overall scream this one: under eye concealer. And not just any one. I have tried them ALL. Admittedly, this one is expensive, but believe me, it is WORTH EVERY PENNY. It’s Cle de Peau Beaute concealer. At $70, it’s pricey, but you will never need another concealer. Ever. Ever. Ever. A few swipes of it and you will look like you just came back from getting fanned and fed grapes in St. Tropez. Yeah, it’s that good.

Cle de Peau Beaute Concealer NM Beauty Award Winner 2012 & 2013 – Neiman Marcus.

2. Hats, hats, hats. Haven’t slept in how long? Baby woke you up how many times last night? Haven’t washed your hair in how long? How’s your hair looking? That’s what I thought. You look homeless. Please throw a hat on that hair before you scare someone.Β  Hats conceal so much-no one needs to see how much of a hot mess you are under there. They are my savior. Anyone who knows me (or has passed me on the street) knows that my hair is anything but tame. I wasn’t blessed with silky, flowing locks. I have a kinky, frizzy fro. But, I gotta say, fros look good in hats. And I don’t mean your beat up Yankees hat here. (although there’s a place for those, too) That won’t make you feel special. I mean a fedora, a Panama hat, a cool 70s floppy hat. You’ll look like you took time to put yourself together and you’ll feel great, too.

Panama hat – Panama Hat – Women’s j.crew in good company – J.Crew.

Panama hat

3. Manicures. I know this can seem like an indulgence (and who has time for those?), but it does wonders on the self-esteem. You don’t have to go to the fancy spa and drop boatloads of cash. There’s a nail salon on basically every other corner, and you can pretty up your digits quickly and inexpensively. My nail salon charges $8 for a manicure and my ‘nail lady’ is amazing. I’m in and out in about 40 min. There is something about having really pretty hands that makes you feel so done, so lady like, so polished. It’s worth it. Take the time, hand your kids off to mom, hubby, sitter, and go. You’ll feel pretty. And sometimes that’s all it takes to turn a crappy day around.

Deborah Lippmann ‘Cleopatra in New York’ Nail Lacquer | Nordstrom.

4. Stylish diaper bag. Ok, so this is clearly specific to the mommas. And it’s a biggie. Your diaper bag will go with you everywhere for the first few years of your child’s life. EVERYWHERE. You’ll probably get more use out of it than any other bag you’ve ever owned. So make it a good one. You wouldn’t buy a purse you don’t love, so don’t but a diaper bag you don’t love. It doesn’t have to cost big bucks to be chic, either. But if I see you with one with Dora the Explorer or Elmo on it, I will bitch slap you.

Amazon.com: Rebecca Minkoff Knocked Up Baby BINYBBO Shoulder Bag,Black,One Size: Clothing.

5. Ballet flats. I naively thought I would be in heels forever. I even ignorantly said once while newly pregnant “I can totally still wear my heels when I’m 9 months pregnant.” What a tool. I love my heels. Love. Like really love. But let’s be honest. they’re not always realistic. Life can get crazy and you need a shoe that can keep up-and that doesn’t mean sacrificing style. There are so many really chic flats out there-pair with some skinny jeans and a cute tee and you’re done. I have also found that wedge sneakers are equally as comfortable, but they’re not for everyone. The first time my husband saw me in mine he said “They’re a little new school for you, no?” Read: your ass is too old for them. But I think they’re amazing and I could run laps in them, they’re so comfortable.

The Sidewalk Skimmer in Calf Hair – AllProducts – Sale – Madewell.

The Sidewalk Skimmer in Calf Hair

My whole point of this was to merely point out that we need to feel good about ourselves. It’s an issue with new moms. It was a huge issue with me. But how can you take care of anyone else if you’re not taking care of yourself? You are precious. Treat yourself as such.

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10 thoughts on “How to not look like you’ve stayed up for 3 days without a bath, been puked/pooped/peed on and overall just look like crap.

  1. not big on make up- a shower always worked for me- but, my nails are always done- always! i found that Gel manicures are the best and really good for new moms- well they are great for any mom- i get my nails done every 3 weeks!

    • I’ve never had the gels, Liz, but I have had the shellac manicure. It was amazing! But it kinda wrecked my nails. I don’t really consider the concealer makeup, but I guess it is. When I haven’t slept, there’s no shower on earth that will get rid of my dark circles. Consider yourself lucky you don’t need it!!

      • Hey girlie, I’m going independent on this one….but the gels have caused me no issues. Yes, I do have to go every 3-4 (yes I said 3-4!!) weeks, and yes, it costs more, but if you average it out….
        Have to confess, there is no (personal) diaper duty in my life, but Alison can vouch for my active ED nurse and paramedic career! Can’t wait to get to NM!!

      • Alison-you always have the most gorgeous nails. And they are always PERFECT. I always waited to see if they would chip or something…. And yes, I can vouch for that for sure!!!! Are you going to try the concealer?

    • Sylvana-congrats on your new little one! Mike just told me about it-so happy for you guys. (and I know how tired you must be…) I found about the concealer a few weeks after my daughter was born and I haven’t missed a day using it. I can’t recommend enough. I literally don’t leave the house without putting it on. Like ever. If you get it, let me know what you think! Hoping you get some rest; enjoy your little ones. πŸ™‚

  2. Alison!!!! This is awesome! Especially since I will be a “new” mom again in September (after a loong hiatus.) My current concealer (bobbi brown) is just not doing it for me. My whole first trimester was absolute hell with the nausea and vomiting and it does not seem to be going anywhere anytime soon…and quite frankly, I look like crap. I need that concealer! And no, just a shower will not do it for me. There needs to be work done after, otherwise, I look like a jail inmate.
    I have no desire to stand with a hair dryer to dry my hair for 20-30 minutes, so what has helped to tame my hair a ton and I swear by it, is BIOSILK serum. I slap that in my wet ends and let it go dry. I have tame curls, no frizz. Every morning I wet the ends and slap more in and it looks amazing. Oh and also, Battiste dry shampoo spray has let me go that extra day (or three) of not washing my hair. A little on the root and you no longer look like you can grease an 18 wheeler!
    Best of luck and I look forward to reading the next entry!!

    • Thanks, Lisa! And I really am so excited for you!! I’m so,so sorry about the N/V. That’s the absolute worst. I’m really hoping it subsides for you asap. I can’t say enough about the concealer-it’s heaven-sent. I have a dry shampoo too (Frederik Fekkai) but it’s just ok-think I’ll give yours a try-thanks for the tip!! I really hope you’re not vomiting right now….. πŸ™‚

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